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abducted?!?
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Bionic Commando



Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 5409
Location: Under the hood.

Post abducted?!? Reply with quote
Had strange day yesterday.
Had really nothing to do, so I decided to buy some mild alcohol products.

Bought too much, but I was thinking that I will consume it all later anyways, better to have more than enough than to die in thirst.
I had 1,5 liters of finnish gin longdrink, three pints of Guinness and 24 small lagers.
Later when just relaxing and after few first beers, I decided to try something that no man has ever done.
This was my first mistake.

I tought that when I have much more drinks that normally needed, I would try to stay up till the next day (today), and drink it all.
I decided to try stay clear. You know, keep it in mind that those mild products really can't get human beign drunk.
I tried to fight against tiredness and those low level of alcohols, to the bittersweet end.
Later I used rubber band and a piece of paper that I tied around the cans I was drinking to remind me of this.
The paper said something like: "Stay tough, don't get drunk!", in finnish of course.

After many drinks, I still remember drinking. Time was something like 6AM. I drinked like a girl, slowly. I moved my piece of paper from can to another.

My last memories are from listening Judas Priests "Cathedral Spires", don't remember the lyrics very well, but the part where Ripper Owens sings something like this: "So before we are all devoured, time to rise up and retire. It cannot be stopped. Genocide, all is lost!" or something and drinking beer. It was already bright outside, so the time was probably almost 8AM, maybe even 9AM.

After that I cannot remember anything. I woke up five PM. I think there might UFO abduction involving in this situation. There is many evidence of this:

Firstly I usually (99% of time) post something useless/stupid on these forums, this time, NOTHING. Was I even in my apartment after the bright morning?

Second reason is that I didn't find that piece of paper OR that rubber band anywhere. Later I counted the cans and ONE was missing. I'm pretty sure that the paper and band was attached to that one can missing. Maybe the aliens took it from me? Maybe it is right now travelling to long away galaxies in their vessel?

Third reason: Gladly I don't have any memories from this infamous abduction, but after I was taking a crap, just less than hour ago. it was quite a nasty happening. The smell was terrible and my crap was almost waterlike substance. Nasty! Maybe their horrible probes messed up my guts?

Reason 4: I found myself sleeping at my bed, just like in the regular morning. Just like nothing happened. No way. They have watched me longer time now and thought that this is what i usually do. No. I usually just throw portable mattress to the floor and pass away there.

Sounds far fetched? Not to me.

Neutral

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Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:43 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Spliffy
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Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 2106
Location: Coquelles, France

Post Reply with quote
Throw a portable matress to the floor?

That sounds like more effort than going to bed and you have to find the damn thing to throw it on the floor.

Have you checked your hair for the rubber band? Some who sport mullets like to make pony tails.

As for the beer count.

1.5L of gin cocktail
3 pints of Guinness
24 cans of beer

I bet you forgot to drink one and it is lying on the floor somewhere. Anyway, putting a message attached with an elastic band to a can of beer 24 times seems pointless and a real chore. What is wrong with a good old (green) marker pen.

And concerning your shit...try mixing guinness with a gin cocktail in a glass and see what it looks like. I think you'll find it resembles what sprayed out of your chocolate starfish when you woke up. They say that if you drink only guinness your turd has a head on it when re-entering the atmosphere.

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Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:16 pm View user's profile Send private message
KillaMasta



Joined: 08 Sep 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: Münster, Germany

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I need a summary. What did Bio talk about? Very Happy

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Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:17 pm View user's profile Send private message
TriffiD
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Joined: 04 Feb 2007
Posts: 1939
Location: Lüneburg, Germany

Post Reply with quote
I'm sorry, I only just read this and I have to ask: What was the idea? Drinking all that slowly and stay sober? Or was it more about pissing the night away? Confused

And who here really believes in alien abductions or at least aliens visiting us?

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Sat May 05, 2012 2:21 pm View user's profile Send private message
Pothead



Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Posts: 85
Location: Bad Saulgau, Germany

Post Reply with quote
TriffiD wrote:
I'm sorry, I only just read this and I have to ask: What was the idea? Drinking all that slowly and stay sober? Or was it more about pissing the night away? Confused

And who here really believes in alien abductions or at least aliens visiting us?


i can't believe that we are the only intelligent life form in the universe!

The Truth is out There.
- Fox Mulder Wink

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Sat May 05, 2012 4:21 pm View user's profile Send private message
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