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KillaMasta
Joined: 08 Sep 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: Münster, Germany |
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 Jokes in German - and English |
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Vorsitzender Richter: ''Erkennen Sie in dem Angeklagten den Mann wieder, der Ihnen ihr Auto gestohlen hat?'' Der Kläger zögerlich: ''Mhhh, nach der Rede des Herrn Verteidigers bin ich mir nicht mehr sicher, ob ich überhaupt jemals ein Auto besessen habe''
Franz kommt zu spät zu seiner Kegelrunde. ''Warum kommst du denn heute so spät?'' - ''Ich habe es einer Münze überlassen, ob ich mit meiner Frau ausgehe oder zu euch komme.'' - ''Ja, und??'' - ''Ich musste 13 mal werfen!''
''Mein Mann hat es gänzlich aufgegeben, abends ins Wirtshaus zu gehen. Ich hab's ihm abgewöhnt.'' - ''Wie denn?'' - ''Jedes mal, wenn er nachts nach Hause kam, habe ich gefragt: 'Bist du's, Karle`' '' - ''Aber dein Mann heißt doch nicht Karle!'' - ''Eben''
Presidential judge: ''Do you recognize the man, who stole your car, in the defendant?" The plaintiff hesitantly: "Mhhh, after the Mr. P. judge speech, I am no more sure for myself whether I at all ever possessed a car "
Franz came late to his cone round gets. "Why do you come you so late today?"- "I left it a coin, whether I go out with my wife or come to you.", "Yes, and?? ", "I had to throw 13 times!"
"My husband gave up fully to go into the restaurant in the evening. I has it makes stop."- "Like then?"- "Everyone once, if he came home at night, I have in demand: Is it you, 'Karle?' ` "- "however your husband is not called Karle, however!"- "Exactly"
Sorry in English x) I have translated it with a n00bish-google-translater! Hadn't enogh time .. 
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"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." Uncle Bionic |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 11:09 am |
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d3im0s
Site Admin
Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 2431
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ROFL....ist das schlecht killermaster......
voll die ideee looooooool  
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Deimos: His name means dread, and he was a fearsome son of Bull & Dirty the fearful gods of war. He always attended his gay fathers on the battlefield, along with his compadres. |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 11:31 am |
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KillaMasta
Joined: 08 Sep 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: Münster, Germany |
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mir war nunmal langweilig du korni-blockier-system
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"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." Uncle Bionic |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:29 pm |
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Korni
Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Posts: 86
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korni blokier system lol
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:35 pm |
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Spliffy
Site Admin
Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 2106
Location: Coquelles, France |
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 3 weeks!
I didn't want to interrupt her.
My wife is great at multi tasking
She can talk and piss me off at the same time.
I paid an assassin to shoot my wife. A week later he returned and said "I did what you asked. I shot her right in the left breast" to which I answered "I told you to kill her! not shoot her knee caps off!"
What do you call a woman with no legs?
A snail!
A man says to his wife "Put your coat on love. I fancy going down to the pub for a drink". "ooh" says the wife "Am I coming too?". "No" says the man "I am turning the heating off".
And so on and so on....
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:59 pm |
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d3im0s
Site Admin
Joined: 02 Mar 2006
Posts: 2431
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mir war nunmal langweilig du korni-blockier-system |
.....lolololol......
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Deimos: His name means dread, and he was a fearsome son of Bull & Dirty the fearful gods of war. He always attended his gay fathers on the battlefield, along with his compadres. |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:18 pm |
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zewuchto
Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 211
Location: Germany / Berlin |
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ihr seid doch alle schwule hinterlader
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:27 pm |
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KillaMasta
Joined: 08 Sep 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: Münster, Germany |
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siiiehste, d3im0s. my dopic läuft gut ;D
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"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." Uncle Bionic |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:18 pm |
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KillaMasta
Joined: 08 Sep 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: Münster, Germany |
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What do you call a woman with no legs?
A snail! |
Noo: A buagette ... she needs buagettes! 
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"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." Uncle Bionic |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:15 pm |
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FishFace
Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 590
Location: Northport, Manchester |
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| Re: Jokes in German - and English |
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Franz kommt zu spät zu seiner Kegelrunde. ''Warum kommst du denn heute so spät?'' - ''Ich habe es einer Münze überlassen, ob ich mit meiner Frau ausgehe oder zu euch komme.'' - ''Ja, und??'' - ''Ich musste 13 mal werfen!'' |
Frank comes too late to his <mates?? pub?> "How come you're so late, today?" - "I flipped a coin, to decide whether to go out with my wife, or to come to you guys." - "Yes, and??" - "I had to flip it 13 times!"
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''Mein Mann hat es gänzlich aufgegeben, abends ins Wirtshaus zu gehen. Ich hab's ihm abgewöhnt.'' - ''Wie denn?'' - ''Jedes mal, wenn er nachts nach Hause kam, habe ich gefragt: 'Bist du's, Karle`' '' - ''Aber dein Mann heißt doch nicht Karle!'' - ''Eben'' |
"My husband's totally given up going to the pub in the evening. I broke his habit." - "How did you do that?" - "Every time he came back home, I called, `is that you, Carl?`" - "But your husband's not called Carl!" - "Exactly!"
I'm not sure about the first one, though ><
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:44 pm |
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KillaMasta
Joined: 08 Sep 2006
Posts: 3132
Location: Münster, Germany |
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FischGesicht: Our translater-machine
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"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." Uncle Bionic |
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| Sat Sep 23, 2006 4:13 pm |
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FishFace
Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 590
Location: Northport, Manchester |
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FischGesicht + dict.cc more like 
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| Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:05 am |
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